


I lost my way back like a broken clock

by floating_chicken



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-01-24 19:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21343321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floating_chicken/pseuds/floating_chicken
Summary: Seyoon has some mental dissorders.But does his boyfriend Byeongkwan care about it?Is it better for them to break up?Will they still be able to enjoy Christmas?Who knows.
Relationships: Kim Byeongkwan/Kim Sehyoon | Wow
Kudos: 11





	1. Don't think of it too much

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind that this is my first fanfiction.  
I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, or mistakes in the way I wrote it.  
I hope you'll enjoy :))  
P.S if self harm, suicide, or anything like that triggers you, I'll advice you to stop reading whenever it goes too far

It’s 4AM when Seyoon wakes up. He only slept for 2 hours, and is wide awake. yet, he doesn’t have the energy to do something. And besides, he doesn’t want to wake up his boyfriend. He stares at the ceiling and starts thinking about life.   
He’s been feeling down for a couple of months now. Byeongkwan knows about it, but they don’t talk much about his feelings and when he tries to talk about it, Byeongkwan changes to topic. Why does he do that? Is it because I’m overreacting? Is it because Byeongkwan doesn’t know how to help me? Is it because it hurts him to hear from me that I’m in pain? Maybe he doesn’t care about me. Maybe we should break up. But will that be better for me? I don’t know. 

It’s 9AM when Byeongkwan wakes up.  
“Good morning baby.”  
“Good morning.”  
“Byeongkwan?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Do you love me?”  
“Of course I do. Why do you ask?”  
“I don’t know. Forget I asked.”  
Seyoon doesn’t have the energy to explain him how he feels. So he decides to take a shower, since he was way too tired to do that after work yesterday. 

  
When he’s done showering, and done getting dressed, he makes some breakfast for Byeongkwan while he’s still in bed, and is playing games on his phone. He stopped as soon as Seyoon walked in with his yoghurt and egg sandwiches.   
“Thank you baby!”  
“No problem. Anything else you want?”  
“No, I’m good.”  
“Okay I’m going to work. See you later.”  
Byeongkwan starts eating his breakfast, but later realizes something. He hasn’t seen Seyoon eating. He calls Seyoon back into their bedroom.   
“Seyoon, have you eaten yet?”  
“No, but I’ll eat at work. Don’t worry.”

Seyoon feels bad, because he lied to Byeongkwan. Although.... He already knew he wouldn’t eat. It’s already 2PM and still has an empty stomach. He’s been feeling like this for a few weeks now. He isn’t hungry at all, and he feels like he’s about to throw up when he does eat something. He thinks to himself “Should I tell Byeongkwan? Should I go to the doctor?” No! It’s gonna be okay.

Byeongkwan walks into his workroom, and asks him if he’s almost finished, So they could take the bus together.   
“I’m finishing up. I’ll be done in a few minutes. You can wait for me in the hallway.”  
“Seyoon hyung, I’m tired. Can I sit on your lap?”  
“Sure, But not now. I’m almost done.”

When Seyoon is done, they put on their jackets and walk to the bus stop. It’s December, so it’s really cold outside. They’re holding hands, and Byeongkwan tries not to fall. he’s exhausted. Seyoon notices, and decides to give him a piggyback ride.   
“Is this better?”  
“Yes, but are you okay with it? Cause you’re probably tired too.”  
“No, I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”  
Byeongkwan jumps off Seyoons back when they finally arrive at the bus stop. They sit down. Byeongkwan falls asleep on Seyoons shoulder. Seyoon looks at the almost clear sky, and looks at the stars. He likes to just sit and watch them, and not thinking about the negativity in his life.   
As the clouds cover up the sky, he lookes down at his boyfriend that still lays on his shoulder. He must’ve had a rough day. He sleeps peacefully and doesn’t seem to feel the cold wind. Seyoon wonders how he’s doing. Is he still the same happy kid like when they first met? Or is he just pretending to be happy. Byeongkwan always says Seyoon’ll notice when somethings wrong. But Seyoon never knows how he’s doing. He always shows the same emotions. Happy, excited, and energetic. What if he hides his true feelings though? What if he feels the same as Seyoon? No. That’s not possible. Is it? 

The bus arrives, and Seyoon wakes up his boyfriend. They walk into the empty vehicle, and take the 2 seats in the middle of the bus. “Byeongkwan how was your day?”  
“Hmm?”  
Byeongkwan already fell asleep again. He probably had a rough day, so Seyoon let’s him sleep. They arrive home not long after that. Byeongkwan has woken up and seyoons leads the sleepy male out of the bus. They walk into their apartment. they immediately go to bed.   
“Seyoon? Are you asleep?”  
“No, why?”  
“No nothing…" "Can I get a goodnight kiss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was pretty short, but I hope you still enjoyed it :))  
If you have any ideas, feel free to comment, or DM me on instagram (@floatingw0rld) or twitter (@choice5tar)  
I'll try to upload a new chapter every week, but I can't promise.


	2. Don't even notice it. Just let it pass

It’s saturday morning, and they’re having lunch at their favorite café. The walls are pastel blue, and the floor and ceiling are grey. It has soft and calm appearance, and it makes them feel safe for some strange reason. And fun fact, they first met at this cafe. Seyoon was crying and he sat all by himself. Byeongkwan noticed him, and moved a seat closer. They started talking. Since then they drink a caramel coffee every single saturday.  
“Do you remember 23th may, about 3 years ago?”  
“Uhh… Not really?”  
“It was the day we met. You sat alone, crying, and I comforted you”  
“Ohh, yes I remember now. I’m glad you came up to me to ask if I was alright”  
“I have no regrets” Byeongkwan says smiling.  
the waitress disturbes their lovey dovey moment and puts their drinks down. Byeongkwan finished his within 30 seconds, and he coughs a bit afterwards.  
“Are you okay? Don’t drink your hot coffee that fast. You could’ve choked, and besides, it’s way too hot. Isn’t your mouth burning?”  
“No, I’m fine don’t worry. I’ll drink it slower next time. And I ordered mine cold so it’s okay. I was just really thirsty”  
Seyoon takes small sips while they’re talking about old memories.  
“Do you remember when we went to the fair 2 years ago?”  
“Of course I remember! It was really cold and our hands were frozen. it was really cute how you just grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let it go”  
“And you really wanted to ride those cars for toddlers. I swear you were on drugs!”  
“No I wasn’t! Seyoon, you know I like those. They’re cute and they aren’t for toddlers. everyone can go in there...” Byeongkwan says offended.  
“That’s not true. But whatever. I don’t want to start a discussion about it”  
“Should we go to the bookstore?”  
“Sure. But first I’ll finish drink”  
“You’re so slow, oh my god!” He says as he looks at the still halfway full cup.  
“I’m sorry. But you know I’ve always been slow”

They walk to the bookstore, holding hands, feeling eyes staring at them. But they don’t really care. They’re finally having a great time together again, and they’re excited to read some books again. Just like when they first met.  
“Byeongkwan?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Where do you wanna go first. The manga section, the CD section, the DVD section, or-“  
“The DVD section. We can buy some movies to watch later this week”  
“Sure. It’s almost Christmas, so let’s buy some Christmas movies”  
Seyoon smiles, and runs into the store pulling Byeongkwan with him, almost kicking a child. But whatever. Kids are annoying. And he was also ugly anyways.  
They arrived at the DVD section. Byeongkwan starts searching for something.  
“Baby, what are you looking for”  
Seyoon starts laughing. Byeongkwan is searching with a such a serious face, not hearing Seyoon. After a few minutes he’s holding the home alone movies. 

“Should we buy these?”  
“Seriously? We’ve already seen that one. Are you sure you want these?”  
“Yes! It’s my favourite movie! But if you don’t want to, we’ll buy something else” kind of guilt tripping Seyoon in to buying them.  
“I know you really like home alone, so maybe we can buy the first home alone movie, and the nightmare before christmas? Is that an idea?”  
“Let’s look for the nightmare before christmas then!”  
Byeongkwan is really happy and excited, and can’t wait to go home and watch some movies together with Seyoon. Seyoon on the other hand, still has some work to do. He doesn’t want to disappoint Byeongkwan but he also wants to finish his project. He’ll see what he’ll do about it.

“Found it!”  
“Great! Should we look at CD’s too? Maybe we can buy a Christmas vinyl?”  
“But Byeongkwan, I have spotify premium. So we can use spotify to listen to music”  
“Yeah I know but-” Byeokwan pouts. They both just stand there. The silence is making Seyoon feel bad. Even though he doesn’t really know why.  
“I like vinyls better than digital. The quality is better in my opinion. But we don’t have that much money to spend, so let’s forget what I asked”  
“I’m really sorry… We can still check them out, and maybe we’ll find a cheap one”  
“No… Let’s just pay for these DVD’s and go home”

They go home, and Byeongkwan turns up the heater.  
“Seyoon? Do you still have work to do? you were working on a project, right?”  
“To be honest, I don’t feel like finishing it… So I’ll do that tomorrow”  
“Are you sure? Can we watch the movies tonight?”  
“Sure! I’ll buy some snacks. What do you want?”  
“I want M&M’s”  
“I’ll be back in less than an hour. Can you prepare dinner?”  
“I’ll try. But I can’t promise it’ll taste as good as when you make it”  
“I’m sure it’ll be tasty”  
Seyoon gives Byeongkwan a goodbye kiss, and walks to the grocery store. 

Byeongkwan looks in the refrigerator to look for something he can cook, finding some chicken legs. He prepares it with some salat, carots and beans. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he cuts the carots, and cooks them together with the beans in a pan. Salad is easy. He just puts some dressing over it, and the salad is done. The chicken is left, but how does he know when it’s ready? He carefully cooks them, and hopes it won’t burn.

“Hi baby, I’m back!”  
“Did you get everything?”  
“Yes, I have your M&M’s, and I also bought popcorn, hot chocolate, and some sodas”  
“What kind of M&M’s?”  
“The one with the blue packaging. Is that okay?”  
“Yes, those are my favorites!”  
“By the way, how is our dinner? I forgot to tell you what to cook and how to cook it”  
“I don’t know if I did it well, but uhh…”  
“Oh my god. You’re a chicken addict...”  
Seyoon sees the chicken legs, and starts laughing.  
“We already ate chicken yesterday dumbass. You also could’ve use the steak”  
“Indeed, we ate chicken yesterday. But these are chicken legs, and yesterday we ate chicken breasts, so it’s not the same”  
They start laughing and Byeongkwan gives Seyoon a plate with chicken legs and the vegetables, and a bowl with the salad.  
“And? How does it taste?”  
“Not that bad. But next time, use some pepper”  
“Okay prince Seyoon, I’ll do it right next time”

They snuggle up, and start with home alone. Seyoon already finished his popcorn, but Byeongkwan isn’t even halfway through his M&M’s.  
“Jeez. How can you eat that much without getting sick” Byeongkwan chuckles  
“I don’t know. I just can”  
“Anyway, do you want to help me finish the M&M’s?”  
Sehyoon grabs a hand full of M&M’s, and starts eating.  
“Sehyoon can you please grab the M&M’s out of the bowl instead of scouping them with your hand and then eat them with your other hand?” The boy says blushing slightly.  
Seyoon looks at Byeongkwan in confusion.  
“Uhmm… Okay?”  
Sehyoon does what Byeongkwan said, still not knowing why.not much later he feels something warm touch his hand. Something small but warm. It’s Byeongkwans hand.  
“Baby…”  
Sehyoon looks at Byeongkwan, and realiseses how lucky he is. His boyfriend is beautiful, has beautiful bright eyes, beautiful soft lips, fluffy hair, a perfect body-  
Sehyoon gets emotional. Byeongkwan notices and grabs his hand a little tighter.  
“Hey... Seyoon? Are you okay?”  
“Please kiss me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while that I've updated, and I'm really sorry. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this second chapter.  
Some of the things, aren't made up. Some things actually happened in my own life. I went through a lot the past few months, and I'm using those things in the next chapter(s).  
If you have ideas or questions or whatever, feel free to dm me on instagram @floatingw0rld (I post dance covers on there so you can check that out if you want to.  
Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for chapter 3 :))


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